Wrote a letter to Dear last night and sent it through e-mail. Really wonder when he will get to read it. I miss you a whole lot. Miss talking to you on the phone at night, miss you messaging me to find out where I am, miss you questioning me for not picking up your call, just MISS YOU sweetheart...
Went to work with parents today. As usual, Daddy dropped me off at Bugis MRT station. On our way there, he had to brake suddenly once. A bus was moving in a zig-zag direction. At that point of time, this though suddenly just came to my mind: "Let me die. Just let me die. I will not have to suffer already anymore. I am totally physically, emotionally, mentally drained. Sick and tired of life already. Nothing seems to go right now. NOTHING at all..."
Had to go grab something to eat as I have to take my medication. Settled for Han's toast. I can longer have my usual toast and a cup of soyabean drink from Qi Ji anymore. Why? It is all because of YOU!!! Yes YOU!!! Why must you make things in such an awkward position now? If you were not so persistent, if you just treat me as a normal being 1st, if you did not behave the way you did, we may still be on talking terms. I may still frequent your stall, crack a joke or two with you every now and then. But you chose not to. Do I have a choice now?
Just when I was changing into my uniform, Dear messaged me. Asked me if I was feeling better. Thanks sweetheart. Indeed I am. More so after receiving your message. =) Asked you to have a good rest. But you chose to shoot me off. You asked me to be so concern about you and you will always be like that already. Stop all this please. I really miss the old you. Come back to me please. I can see that you are still concern about me. Why I cannot do the same to you? Why cannot you just forget about the incident and live the way we used to live? Happily in each other's arm, company... I know, I have hurt you really bad. You will not be able to forget what I did. Give me a chance to mend the scar I left please. Just one last chance is all I need. I will be praying everyday for it.
After work, had the sudden urge to go the gym. Came home, got changed and went to the gym. Excercised for a total of 1 hour. Total calories loss: 405. Let us monitor. Will the amount increase or decrease as the days go by? We shall see. Plan to go again on Friday morning, before going to work. While exercising, this gym instructor came to tell me that we are not allowed to wear a skirt while exercising. Can you please open your big eyes and see properly!!! I am wearing a pair of shorts mind you!!! Who in the right mind would actually wear a skirt while exercising??? Totally pissed off with him.
Came home. Had dinner. Feeling rather sleepy already now. Guess I will have an early and sound sleep tonight. I really hope so. Good night blog!
{&i'll hold on till the end of time-}
1:36 PM